Before I knew this was an actual thing, I had a conception of absolute determined disgust towards people who end up as child sex offenders. I happened to discover this very word in the movie Fault in Our Stars when Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters when they “had to do something about the swing set”. That was like a really casual and negligible reference of the term but it made me do some freaking research. So what i came to know is that Pedophilia is a mental disorder which engages a person to be sexually attracted and aroused exclusively by prepubescent children i.e. children around the age of a toddler to the age of 11yrs who are not capable of providing a consent for the activities. A person diagnosed with this disorder must be 16 yrs or above and the attraction must pertain to children at least five years younger than a pedophile. A popular synonym for pedophilia is child sexual abuse. The apparent no. of men exceed the no. of women that are diagnosed with this disorder reportedly.
I wonder now if the cases that I came across a while ago about child sexual abuse could possibly be cases of pedophilic men barely acting upon there natural unusual urges and impulses with poor self-control. I am an Indian. I live in a country of tradition with rich absorbing culture, moral customs and rituals.Even in a country with such vibrant and sacred morals, we come about such issues like rape, sexual abuse, physical abuse and child sexual offending every day: A 4YR GIRL RAPED BY HER SCHOOL TEACHER ; GIRL RAPED IN CAB ; KINDERGARTEN STUDENT SEXUALLY ABUSED BY A LOCAL WORKER ; A BUS DRIVER RAPES A 2YR OLD GIRL IN THE SCHOOL BUS. Where it is considered offensive even to talk about sex as a part of normal life openly among different age groups and where people belonging to different generations have this one universally agreed upon principle of keeping these words private, there stands no difference to the statistics of sexual crimes in comparison to any other country. I bet majority of people don’t even have a clue regarding the perceptible existence of such a mental disorder. Maybe its time to let the word out in public interest.
It is almost a year to this conversation I had with a fellow classmate and if I may forewarn you that reading further would be an absolute ordeal for you as it was for me when I heard it from my fellow with her corresponding countenances of disgust. But I think you will proceed with it anyway out of curiosity. So she told me she heard about this family with two working parents to their beautiful toddler daughter whom they left to be at home with her paternal grandfather who was a widower. The kid started to cry incessantly and had a terrible pain in her stomach after a couple of months. Her parents took her to their family doctor and the doctor indicated the presence of semen in her body. The mother got furious and requested her husband to set up cameras in his father’s room where they left their daughter everyday. At first the husband rebuked about the whole idea of suspecting his own father for having been involved in such a demeaning scenario but finally agreed to work through the plan for the sake of his daughter’s safety and to seek the real truth about his daughter’s condition. And yes, they found the deviant old grandfather ejaculating in his granddaughter’s little mouth. I can’t even imagine the sight of a possible that and the damage it caused to that little baby. I mean that is freaking incest and sexual harassment and rape and child abuse actually toddler abuse or something. Its batshit crazy and these parents trusted that old man with the sensitive responsibility of their daughter and her safety while sitting in their comfy offices thinking their daughter must be happy playing tea party with her cute grandpa.
I don’t know if this case was of pedophilia or a paraphilic abnormal sexual urge just because he was a widower and didn’t have any other individual choice to act upon but I thought I should share this information that sabotaged a blooming life. But there are teenagers and adults who do not want to hurt children and have never acted on their sexual desires. They remain undetected and fail to acquire help. Some may even kill themselves for having to live with such an embarrassing attraction affliction. The risk factors that these people may act on their pedophilic urges are developed by insatiable sexual desires which cause distress, personality problems, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, impaired self-concept and interpersonal functioning. Causes of this disorder of sexual preference may be biological or developed by emotional fears or threats from similar age groups such as social acceptance, maturity level variance, social approbation and trust issues making them more congenial in the company of children. There is no evident assurance that pedophilia can be cured, but there are therapies to help refrain upon these impulses. I think this is somewhat similar to heterosexual or homosexual sexual orientation on the basis of natural sexual preference but pedophelia can turn out to be harmful for children so it needs mental health treatments.
An awful lot of people are out there seeking help before its too late. They don’t wanna be monsters. And hope is never to be obliterated.